I have finally escaped, but how come I don’t feel any different?

It took a couple of weeks to get her face out of my head every time I shut my eyes. Now, her face only appears now and then.

I can’t sleep, so tried Valarian a couple of times. I had nightmares, spiders and tigers, so decided to give it a miss. I hate spiders.

I am gardening frantically, trying to get so tired that I will sleep. It’s not happening, and I dread going to bed. I used to meditate to get to sleep, but can’t manage to do that any more. Some refresher meditation classes might be in order, I think.

Not working is having a very bad effect on the bank balance, not sure what will happen with the house. Can’t keep paying a mortgage with no income. So………..we’ll wait for a few more weeks and see what happens.

On a more positive note, I have started on the ‘quit smoking pill. I’m only on day 2, and have not noticed any side effects, and so far it has not stopped my cravings. I had to set a day to stop smoking, which I have done. Saturday 18th April. Hmmm!!!

I guess it’s not so bad, as B said, we’re still alive, have running water and electricity. Until we are unable to pay the bills, that is. 🙂


Still Trapped – A Lesson Learned

I haven’t escaped yet, but it’s getting closer. The boss sends me messages through G. Ask her to return the uniform please. What does she think I would do with it? Wear the bloody thing for fun? Yeah, right.

Actually, I send her messages through G too. Can you tell me when to expect my termination pay? I didn’t get an answer.

I can feel myself retreating from the rest of the world. All I want to do is be by myself, the phone keeps ringing, I don’t answer it. If someone knocks on the door, I ignore it.

One day……..down the track, I’ll tell you about this particular job, what I did, how people are ripped off. BUT only after I get paid out, including the 7 months worth of Super that hasn’t been paid into my nominated fund.

Look at your next job offer, research the company and directors before you make the worst mistake of your lives, like G and I did. If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. We may just go into bankruptcy because of these smooth talkers.


It looks like life is back to sleeping in. I have had two interviews, and one no thank you. One more interview on Thursday afternoon.

So…….back to sleeping in, and wearing jeans. I still have not quite escaped this hell hole, but only have 4 days to go. This is pay week though, so getting paid on time or even at all, remains to be seen.

It will be great to finally go home to stay, I have really missed it, and the DOG. Fancy having him two houses away, and having visitation rights only. However, we did agree that if we were to return, they would keep the dog. Fair is fair. I have to say, I don’t miss the hair. Long haired Saints are continually shedding. I swear you could spin the hair and knit a jumper out of it.

I have finally got somewhere with the Dept of Immigration, and am allowed to sit my citizenship test on the 26th May. About time too! I had a very understanding person on the other end of the phone, who showed a lot of common sense. No around and around the “what is your passposrt number”, I don’t have one, “what is your permanent residency number”, I don’t have one, etc. No arguments this time.:)

Anyway, back to sleeping in………

Yellow Heart – Black Heart

I’ve changed colour this time, yellow instead of black, but nothing has changed.

Well, maybe some things have changed. On reflection, a lot has changed.

This pretense we call life, struggling to keep an image, working to live or living to work, which ever one it is.

Longer hours, with nothing to show except extra stress. Everyone afraid if they don’t put in extra time, a replacement will be found. The replacement will, of course endeavour to live up to your image and in turn be caught in the trap.

I got over it. The big money, the entrenched lies that go with the job, the pretend ‘everything is perfect’ world. Oh, forgot the blame game, the happy, joyous corporate world , where everything that goes wrong in the higher echelons is always someone else’s fault.

Have you ever noticed your employer will NEVER take the blame, even though he/she made the mistake? I only had one boss that ever did that, and he was a car dealer. Just goes to show that car salesmen have more integrity than you imagined.


Interesting day. Hmmm…….. Annonymous. No faces, no names.

Today I voiced my opinion regarding the non payment of wages, and my negative outlook at the present time because of this. It ended up a total fiasco.

My husband resigned. The boss went nuts.

A little later……….I was asked to resign, I refused. She basically said she would make life very difficult, and that I couldn’t do my job properly. Which I can, by the way. My performance targets are way up, on one side, the other side is unmarketable in it’s present form, as has been documented in numerous meetings, by her. But, like all good bosses, she changed her mind and blamed it on me.

The thing is, unless they actually produce the product, and the purchaser pays in full, I don’t get commission. People get sick of waiting, pull out, and I lose out. I reckon around $14,000 this financial year.